


Life is a Risk (But we will Take it)

by MalecAcid



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alex Mercer Has Anxiety (Julie and the Phantoms), Alex Mercer Has Bad Parents (Julie and The Phantoms), Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Families of Choice, Gen, Good Person Bobby | Trevor Wilson, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, No beta we die like Sunset Curve, Panic Attacks, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Reggie Peters Has Bad Parents (Julie and The Phantoms), this is sad im sad we're all sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:36:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29981586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalecAcid/pseuds/MalecAcid
Summary: Bobby loved being the person they could come to. He loved being the person who helped, who could help.He didn't know what he would do if he couldn't be there for his boys, and he would never know, he decided.He was always going to be there.OR5 Times Bobby helped the boys and 1 time he couldn't.
Relationships: Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Alex Mercer, Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Luke Patterson, Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Reggie Peters
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	Life is a Risk (But we will Take it)

**Author's Note:**

> So!!! I really do not know how this came out of a tumblr prompt that was supposed to be kind of fluffy but now it's just incredibly sad!!!! I'm so sorry!! 
> 
> The prompt was from an anon on tumblr and they send an ask that said "What if you wrote Bobby comforting Reggie, Alex, and Luke after they have a bad day?" And it became... This. This sad angsty incredibly long 5+1 I am once again SO sorry this is so sad 
> 
> ‼️Warning for implied/references child abuse, panic attacks, watching people die from food poisoning, mention of vomit, and small comment about dead bodies‼️
> 
> THAT'S A LOT OF WARNINGS BUT I PROMISE IT'S NOT THAT BAD KFKSKFKSKDKSK Anyways I hope you like!!

**1.**

Bobby wasn't really sure when he had become friends with Reggie. 

He just knew that it had happened quickly. 

The two of them just… clicked. He knew that they had only met two years before in the third grade, but he already could tell that they were going to be best friends forever. 

Reggie liked the same movies as him, and he liked music just as much even though the other kids in their grade had thought that he was weird and made fun of him for it. 

Reggie was _nice_ to him. Actually _nice_ , and really, that was the only thing that he would have needed to be for Bobby to have picked him as a friend. And he was so much more, too. 

He was funny and managed to make him laugh even if he was feeling sad. He didn't make fun of him like his old friends did and he would glare at them every single time they passed by the lunch table that they were sitting at that day. He was Bobby's favorite person in the entire world. 

So of course he didn't mind splitting his lunch with him. 

Reggie hadn't brought lunch to school that day, which wasn't really unusual. Bobby brought his every day, but most of the time Reggie was one of the kids who brought money to buy the lunch the school provided. So Bobby was fairly surprised when he didn't get up to grab it when the table they were sitting at that day was told to get up and get lunch if they needed it. 

Reggie had looked down at his lap from across from him when the teacher had tapped their table before walking away, fiddling with his fingers, and Bobby tilted his head at him questioningly. 

"Reg?" He said, and Reggie lifted his head up to look at him. "Did you forget your lunch at home or something?" 

"Uh," He started, searching for the right words to say while Bobby wanted patiently. "Yeah, yeah. I was supposed to bring money but uh, my parents, they weren't really there this morning," He said, running a hand through his hair sheepishly and not meeting Bobby's eyes. He could almost hear the way his friend's stomach growled from all the way across the table. 

And they might have only been in fifth grade, but Bobby wasn't stupid. He saw the way Reggie would flinch at a too-loud noise, saw the way that there were no snacks in the fridge when he finally let him come over that one time, heard the way his mom and dad screamed at each other before he lifted his hand to knock on their front door. 

He knew that things were bad for Reggie at home, but it was just one of those things they didn't talk about. One of those things that was never mentioned. 

He was just a kid. They were both just kids. 

So, without saying a word, Bobby slid half of his sandwich, a juice carton, a bag of chips, and a cookie across the table towards Reggie, who immediately started shaking his head. 

"This is like, half your lunch," He said, and Bobby just shrugged, taking a bite of his half of the sandwich before gesturing for Reggie to do the same. 

All he did for a moment was glance between him and the sandwich in front of him before he hesitantly picked it up, taking a small bite and chewing slowly. 

It didn't take long for him to swallow, and when he did, his eyes immediately lit up and he took another bite, and then another and another and Bobby had to hold back laughter as he practically inhaled the sandwich. 

When he was about halfway done with it, Bobby lightly kicked his ankle from beneath the table, making him look up, and smiled softly at him, getting a genuine smile in return. 

And when he got a little hungrier than usual during the last hour of the school day, he found that he really didn't mind.

**2.**

Bobby was happy for Luke. He really, really was. It wasn't every day that one of your best friends got the gift that they had wanted more than anything for their thirteenth birthday the week before, and really, if any of his boys were happy, then Bobby was happy. But god, he would love it if his friend could take a break. Just a small break. 

It was pretty early on a Sunday morning, and they had decided to hang out at Bobby's house after Reggie and Alex's parents dragged them off to church, just sitting on his bed shoulder to shoulder while Luke attempted to practice and Bobby closed his eyes, willing away the headache that was starting to form and wincing when Luke got the riff that he had been working on for an hour wrong _again_. 

Bobby had learned to play guitar from a young age after his older brother left for college and left his instrument for Bobby, and honestly, hearing Luke botch the easiest riffs in history was the most frustrating thing he had ever gone through, and he wasn't even the one trying to get them right. 

He knew that it was hard, he'd been there himself before too, knew it was a learning process, knew that people moved at their own pace, and really, Luke was actually doing pretty well for a complete beginner. It was just the way he pressed too tightly on the strings and making them buzz a little too much that was really starting to make Bobby's headache spike in pain. 

When Luke attempted it again, a buzzing off-tune sound hitting Bobby's ears, he quickly sat up, opening his eyes and leaning closer to Luke and the guitar in his lap. 

He moved a hand to mess with Luke's fingers a bit, making them press onto the strings of the guitar lighter than they had before and pushing the palm of his hand upwards slightly so that it didn't hit the strings he didn't want it to. 

"Here," He said quietly, moving a hand around Luke's waist to strum the strings while Luke pressed them down, an almost perfectly tuned riff ringing out. "See? You just have to make sure not to press too tightly on the strings."

He withdrew his hand from the guitar, but kept it around Luke's waist. "Try it," He said, resting his head on his shoulder tiredly. 

He waited in anticipation before Luke strummed the guitar, a clean sound ringing out, and smiled into his shoulder. 

"See? Told you you could do it," He said, and Luke laughed a little bit. 

"Yeah," He said, leaning back slightly so that his back was against Bobby's chest and continued to strum the guitar lightly, very few of the sounds coming out of it actually sounding bad, and Bobby smiled. 

Maybe he didn't mind Luke learning how to play the guitar that much. 

And if he was happy, Bobby was too.

**3.**

It wasn't often that Bobby was able to hang out with Alex outside of school and the band.

His parents were pretty strict and all of the advanced classes that Alex was in caused for an ungodly amount of homework, leaving him with what was definitely not enough free time. 

But he managed to find some, and ended up inviting Bobby over, which definitely made his day. He felt lucky, being the one Alex chose to spend his limited free time with. 

So he was practically skipping the entire mile walk to his house, almost visibly buzzing with excitement. There really was nothing more he loved than hanging out with his friends, and he was excited to talk to him about the new movie he had just seen. 

So you can imagine his surprise when he turned onto the street just a block away from Alex's house to see his friend sitting with his back against a tree, head in his hands as his chest moved up and down with rapid breaths. 

Immediately running up to him, Bobby dropped his backpack on the ground and collapsed in front of Alex, ignoring the pain that spread through his knees at the contact with the hard ground to try and figure out what was going on. 

"Alex?" He said fairly quietly, not daring to touch his friend quite yet, and his head shot up as if he hadn't known he was there until now. Maybe he didn't. And his breathing only exhilarated and Bobby felt his heart crack right down the middle at the sight of Alex's red-rimmed eyes. 

"Hey, hey, it's just me. It's Bobby," He said softly, and he saw a flash of recognition in Alex's eyes but nothing else changed. He still gasped for air as if there was only a miniscule amount of oxygen left in the world, and that was what it took for Bobby to finally realize what this was. 

A panic attack. 

His younger sister had gotten them a few times before in the past while he had been around. It always started with a thought, just a small thought, that quickly grew large and after that all it took was one thing to topple her over and make her feel as if she was dying, make her look just as Alex did right now. Absolutely terrified. 

He wracked his brain quickly while Alex looked at him, searching for something inside there that might help before he remembered one time that he had seen his sister around one of her friends during a panic attack. 

She had knelt down next to her, just as Bobby was doing now, and calmly asked if she could touch her. When the answer was yes, she grabbed her hand and put it on her heart, having his sister feel the steady pulse of her friend's heartbeat, and they breathed together in a pattern. It didn't take long before his sister had calmed down, breathing returning to normal. 

With nothing else but that coming to mind, Bobby scooted forward slightly, hovering a hand over Alex's knee. 

"Can I touch you?" He asked, trying to sound as calm as his sister's friend did that one time, and Alex nodded, slightly frantically, and Bobby rested his hand on his knee, giving it a light squeeze before grabbing his hand and putting it over his chest, right where he was pretty sure his heart was. 

"Okay, we're going to breathe together okay, just deep breaths. Breathe in with me and then out, okay?" He said quietly, and Alex nodded again, his breath stuttering a few times on the first tries, but eventually managing to move in sync with his. 

By the time his hands had stopped shaking and his breathing had gone completely back to normal, he had already thrown himself into Bobby's arms. 

Bobby just hugged him tighter when he felt cold teardrops hit his neck where Alex had buried his face, moving to run a hand through his hair when he sniffled into his shoulder. 

Alex eventually pulled back an unknown amount of time later, Bobby barely able to let him go. 

"I-" Alex started before cutting himself off, eyes glued to the ground. "Thank you." 

And really, it was so unnecessary, because Bobby would do anything for the boys. He knew it, and he hoped that they knew it, but he shrugged anyways, a small smile on his face as they sat in the grass. 

"Any time," He said, and he really, really meant it.

**4.**

Honestly, they should have all seen this coming. 

Bobby didn't understand how they hadn't. They were literally a bunch of seventeen year olds in a band that was just starting out. Did they really think that they were going to be booking gigs left and right? 

They did. Think that, that is. Until reality decided to slap them in the face and Luke was rejected by what felt like the hundredth club that they had tried that night.

"I don't get it," He huffed, kicking a puddle of water as he walked out of the club and towards the boys. "Why isn't anyone taking us?"

"Maybe it's because you have to use a little bit more than your 'puppy-dog-charm,'" Alex said in a sarcastic tone, mocking something Luke had said an hour before. 

All he did in response was kick another puddle towards Alex, splashing just the bottom of his pants. 

"Hey!" He said, and Bobby just rolled his eyes at their antics, tuning out their bickering as he looked up and down the street. 

It didn't take long before a certain cafe caught his eye, and he looked to the boys with a grin. 

"Hey," He started, cutting off their arguing. He pointed down the street, trying not to laugh at the way each of them followed down his arm to see exactly where he was pointing. "Let's try the cafe over there." 

Luke groaned, and he raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm tired of getting rejected," He said, looking, ironically, like a sad puppy. "One of you guys try." 

Bobby crossed his arms, rolling his eyes again. "I'll go. Try not to die while I'm gone." 

He could see out of the corner of his eye the way each of the boys flipped him off as he turned his back to them and grinned. He really couldn't wait to prove them wrong. 

When he eventually walked out of the cafe only ten minutes later to see the three of them sitting on a bench beside it, he smirked, waving the flier in front of their faces. 

Luke's jaw dropped as he grabbed it out of his hands. "How did you… what? How? So fast? What?" 

Bobby just shrugged, moving to sit beside Reggie on the edge of the bench. "Don't question it man, just be happy we actually got a gig." 

His eyes seemed to light up at that, almost as if he was just now remembering that they were going to get to play in front of people, and he grinned. "Yes! We got got a gig!" 

All of the boys laughed, knocking their shoulders together and smiling at each other. 

Bobby figured that they wouldn't mind that he had gotten them the gig because the manager of the cafe was his older brother. 

After all, everyone needed a bit of help sometimes.

**5.**

The first time one of the boys had to crash in the studio was only a week after Reggie, the youngest of them, had turned seventeen. 

Alex had told them the day before that he was planning on coming out to his parents. If he was honest, they were all incredibly nervous about it. They knew how Alex's parents could be sometimes, and they were just worried about their friend. But all in all, it was Alex's choice, and if he was ready, then he was ready. 

Bobby hated that he couldn't say he was surprised when he heard a rock hit his window later that night. 

He had opened his window to see Alex, a small bag thrown over his shoulder with tear tracks down his cheeks and a bright red handprint on one. 

He immediately whispered-shouted reassurances that he would be there in a second, shutting his window and racing down the stairs as quietly as possible, shutting and locking the door of the house behind him before running as fast as he could to the side of the house where Alex was waiting. 

The second he saw him, he ran even faster, pulling him into his arms and just holding him tightly. 

Alex didn't say anything for a while, only let himself be held, before he pulled back, an apologetic look on his face as he opened his mouth only for Bobby to cut him off before he could even get the words out. 

"Hey," He said, and Alex's mouth closed. "Don't apologize. I'm glad you came here. You don't need to go through this alone. Me and the boys are here for you okay?" 

Alex opened and closed his mouth over and over again, mildly resembling a fish as he tried to come up with something to say, only to close it for good and nod tiredly. 

God, he looked so tired. 

Bobby nodded at him in response, pulling him into another hug and letting him rest on his shoulder. 

Alex seemed to doze off a little bit but before he could completely fall asleep Bobby gently pushed him off of his shoulder, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the studio. 

He knew that the garage would be cold, but there was no way he would be able to get away with bringing Alex inside the house. If his parents found them there in the morning, then they would just assume that it was a last minute sleepover. And there were blankets and the pullout was comfortable enough. He was sure it would be fine. He _knew_ it would be fine. It had to be. 

He gently guided the half-asleep Alex towards the garage, fixing the pullout and getting blankets for them while Alex swayed where he stood, looking completely exhausted. 

When Bobby finally finished, he gave him a sympathetic look, grabbing his hand again and pushing him gently to the bed where he quickly collapsed, wrapping his arms around a pillow and nuzzling into it. 

Bobby smiled softly at that, laying a few blankets over him before crawling under them himself, pressing their sides close together. 

And when Alex's snores finally reached his ears, he knew that things would be okay.

* * *

After Alex's parents had finally decided to take him back a week or so later, it had only taken a few more weeks before someone else had come to him, needing a place to sleep for the night. 

But the next person that did come was Reggie. 

He had walked up to him just as he started to walk out of the studio that night, favoring his right shoulder and wincing whenever he stepped too hard on his left leg. 

Dropping his backpack on the floor, Bobby walked quickly up to him, moving to put a hand on his shoulder but pulling back whenever Reggie flinched. 

"Reg? Reg what happened?" He asked, and Reggie just shook his head, not meeting his eyes. Bobby only stared at him in worried silence before Reggie eventually decided to speak up what felt like years later. 

"I, uh, I need to crash in the garage. Just tonight," He said, curling into himself before whispering a quiet, "please." 

Nodding almost frantically, Bobby took a step closer to him. "Yeah, yeah of course. Any time. You don't even have to ask," He said and could just barely see the ghost of a smile on Reggie's face. 

He would've grinned at him encouragingly if Reggie hadn't tried to take a step, only to immediately falter, hissing in pain and biting his lip. 

Moving forward immediately at the sound, Bobby grabbed one of Reggie's arms to stop him from falling, refusing to let go even when he regained his balance. 

"Reggie," He started, ducking his head downwards in an attempt to meet his eyes, only for Reggie to immediately glance away. "What happened?"

Bobby tried his hardest to make his voice sound friendly, or at least supportive, but there was always something there that made it feel off. He didn't know what it was, but his voice almost always felt harsh, even to his own ears, no matter the situation. 

Reggie only ended up shaking his head again, and Bobby tried not to sigh too loudly. It was decidedly too late to push, and he would've been able to see the dark circles under Reggie's eyes from a mile away, so all he did was tug on his arm gently in the direction of the studio. 

"It's okay," He said as softly as he could, "Come on." 

Reggie only hesitated for a moment before giving in and letting himself be dragged towards the studio, too tired to argue. The second that Bobby had finished turning the couch into a bed, Reggie got into it, huddling under the blanket and shutting his eyes. 

Bobby moved forward, lifting the blankets on the left side of the bed up slightly to sit next to Reggie, who opened his eyes to look at him, fully look at him, for the first time since he had arrived. 

"No, Bobby, you don't have to stay out here-" 

He was cut off by Bobby shushing him softly. "It's okay, I like being out here with you," He said genuinely, moving to grab Reggie's hand that laid in between them, and Reggie sighed, closing his eyes and squeezing Bobby's hand tightly. 

Bobby squeezed back, a small smile on his face that was immediately wiped off when a loud crash sounded from outside the garage. 

Reggie had jolted up immediately at the noise, his eyes wide as his breath got stuck in his throat, and Bobby's hand felt as if it's circulation was being cut off with how tightly his friend was squeezing it. Not that he cared, considering said friend was shaking worse than Bobby had ever seen him with his eyes beginning to water. 

"Hey," Bobby started as quietly and softly as he could, and Reggie whipped his head to the side to face him. "It's okay, it was just those raccoons I was telling you about the other day remember? The ones that ate the lunch I left outside?" 

A look of remembrance passed over Reggie's eyes and the reminder of the funny story that Bobby had told him before seemed to cut through the way he was lost in his own mind. 

"Yeah, they probably just knocked over the trash can. You're _safe_. I promise." 

After a minute or so of Reggie's eyes searching his own, as if he was looking for a lie, he closed his eyes again, exhaustion eventually winning out. 

Bobby moved so that Reggie's head was in his lap, running his fingers through his hair and trying to calm him down a bit. 

It didn't take long for him to actually fall asleep, practically nuzzling into Bobby's hand as he pet his hair, and Bobby had to hold back a laugh at his friends tiny and quiet snores. 

He only watched him sleep for an hour before he started to pass out himself.

He didn't know what he was going to do with this not-so-new information about Reggie's parents. He didn't know what he _could_ do.

They were still just kids. Just kids, and it felt as if it was them against the entire world, felt as if the garage itself was the only safe place in existence. 

And half asleep, cuddled up against Reggie, he found that he really didn't mind that much.

* * *

The first time that Luke had come to crash at the garage was a few months after Alex and Reggie had for the first time. There would be days where Alex or Reggie came together to escape their families or would even stay for weeks at a time, but Luke never seemed to need some place to stay. 

At least, he didn't until the week before Christmas in 1994. 

Bobby had just been sitting in the studio, strumming his guitar and humming to himself when suddenly there were three quick knocks sounding on the door of the garage. 

None of the boys ever knocked, so he just shrugged to himself, deciding that getting up wasn't worth it if it wasn't any of the boys. 

Instead of walking away, though, the person just knocked again, a little louder than the time before, and Bobby groaned, practically throwing his guitar to the floor before standing up and stomping to the door. He threw it open, completely prepared to tell off whoever wouldn't leave him alone until he saw- 

Luke. His eyes rimmed with red and a bag of clothes slung over his shoulder. 

Shit. 

He had known things were starting to get tense between Luke and his parents, but he hadn't realized that it would come to _this_. 

"Hey, uh, sorry if this isn't a good time," Luke started, sniffling a bit, and Bobby felt like the worst person in the entire world. "I just, kind of need a place to stay. I don't know for how long," He said, and Bobby stayed silent, looking him over with concern. Luke must've taken his silence as a refusal, though, and quickly started talking again. "I'm sorry, I just thought… it doesn't matter. I can go-" 

He was cut off by Bobby throwing his arms around his shoulders, squeezing him close, and Luke could barely hold back a sob. 

"You can always come here," Bobby said firmly, "I _want_ you to come here if you need it. Any of you guys can come to crash here okay? You're not the exception, you can come here too," He said, ignoring the tears he felt hit his shoulder to pull back in an attempt to look Luke in the eyes. 

"I love you, man," He said, and Luke sniffled again, moving forward to bury his head back into Bobby's shoulder as an 'I love you' of his own.

"I'm so tired," He said, and Bobby could've cried himself at the almost desperate tone to Luke's voice, almost as if he expected to be turned away even after everything Bobby had just said. 

"Come on," He started, pulling back again to grab Luke's arm and pull him to the couch that was already in bed-form. Reggie had slept there the night before, and Bobby hadn't bothered to fix it. 

They collapsed into the bed together silently, and Bobby tucked Luke under his chin, holding him close. 

He wasn't sure how long it took for his friend to eventually fall asleep, he just knew that he followed him to dream-land soon afterwards. 

You would almost expect it to feel like a crushing weight, knowing that you were one of the only places your friends could go to when they couldn't go home, but all it did was make Bobby feel so much lighter. 

He loved being the person they could come to. He loved being the person who helped, who could help. 

He didn't know what he would do if he couldn't be there for his boys, and he would never know, he decided. 

He was always going to be there.

**+1**

It was surprising, how heavy the weight of not being able to help was. It differed so much from being able to be there for the boys, was so different from the way he would feel so light, feel so unstoppable. 

He wished that he could feel like that again. Wished that he could be with his boys that made him feel like that every second that they were around. 

Bobby hadn't felt as light as that since the day it happened.

* * *

He didn't know why the boys were taking so long. Rose had ended up ditching him only a few minutes in, which he guessed was fair considering the fact that she was at work, but he still felt his ego deflate when she practically told him she'd rather be wiping tables. 

He had only been searching for the boys for a few minutes before the sound of an ambulance siren reached his ears. 

He didn't pay too much mind to it, just continued walking in the direction of where he knew the boys had gone to get their disgusting hot dogs. It was only when the ambulance turned down the street Bobby knew his boys were close to that he started to run as fast as he could. 

He took all of the shortcuts he knew, and somehow managed to get there before the ambulance had, it's loud siren ringing in his ears as it slowly grew closer. 

The sight that greeted him in the back alley was something that he never would forget. 

Reggie was completely out on a torn up couch, a pile of vomit next to him and looking more pale than Bobby had ever seen him. Luke was lying on the ground just barely awake, a small amount of blood just starting to dribble down his chin as he slowly shook his head back and forth as if he was willing away dizziness. And Alex was gone, nowhere in sight. 

The first thing Bobby did was run towards Reggie, hovering a hand over his mouth and sighing in relief when he felt a weak breath hit it. After it had, he turned to go to Luke, but stopped when he suddenly saw Alex stumble into view, saying something about how the hot dog guy was gone before he collapsed onto the ground, completely knocked out. 

"Alex!" Bobby had called out, running forward and kneeling on the ground next to him. God, he looked so pale. They all looked so pale. 

He wiped away the blood starting to come past Alex's lip with his sleeve, angrily brushing away tears that started to drip down his cheeks. Why the fuck was he crying? The boys were going to be fine. The ambulance was close and they were going to be fine. So why was his breathing starting to get heavy as if he had been the one eating the bad hot dogs? 

Time seemed to stop as he leaned over Alex and Luke, gripping one of their hands in each of his own as he glanced at Reggie every once in a while to make sure he was still breathing, muttering the words "it's okay, it's going to be okay" over and over and over again to the point where they didn't feel like real words anymore. 

And then suddenly, there was an EMT pushing him away from Alex and ripping his hand off of his. 

"No, what, what are you doing, what…" He trailed off, mumbling a bit as he held Luke's hand tighter than before, unwilling to let go as they loaded Reggie and Alex into the ambulance. 

When one of the EMT's came to get Luke, he shook his head quickly, protesting with words he couldn't hear before the person getting Luke just pushed him out of the way and loaded him inside with the other boys. 

It was when the doors of the ambulance were shutting and his view of the boys was being cut off when he started to scream. 

"No!" He yelled, running forward only to be pushed back by the same EMT from before. "No, no, let me help. I have to help-" 

"You can't help," The guy said, crossing his arms impatiently and sounding annoyed. 

"I… I have to help, I always help-" 

"You can't help this time," He said, cutting him off again. "We're taking them to the nearest hospital, just down the street there. If they're still alive you can come and see them there." 

"If?" Bobby asked, focusing on that one word, and the EMT just sighed, moving to get inside the ambulance and speeding off.

Bobby could only watch as his friends were ripped away from him. He couldn't help. He couldn't. 

He felt the heaviest he ever had when he collapsed to the ground, punching his knuckles into the concrete and wondering what would've happened if he'd just been there sooner. What would've happened if he could've helped. 

But he wasn't, and he didn't. He didn't help. He didn't help and the boys were gone, speeding off to an unknown hospital and relying on the word "if."

* * *

It had ended up being a struggle, convincing both the cemetery owners and the boy's parents that they needed to be buried together, but he was glad that he finally won out in the end. 

Not that Bobby would consider any of this at all a win, something good. Because it wasn't. It was something awful, something terrible, and if he thought about it for too long he could vividly see that night in his mind, could hear the harsh words of the EMT ringing in his ears. 

So he didn't think about it at all, really. He didn't think about much at all anymore. All thinking led to was more thinking which led to hot dogs and pale faces and a show that they never got to play. 

He didn't go to their graves much. It was weird, thinking about how the boys he had held in his arms only a week before were under his feet and rotting. 

He didn't think anymore, though, so it wasn't really a problem. 

He sat in front of the graves silently, looking at the flowers he had placed on each one. They really were pretty. Luke's mom had helped pick them out, and although she started to cry when he mentioned that blue was Luke's favorite color, he found that he actually appreciated her being there. 

But now, he was alone, staring at the headstones and running his hand over the grass that surrounded the fresh dirt where they were buried. 

He had always thought that people who talked to the air in movies were stupid. Everyone knew that the people who had died weren't listening, but he couldn't help the way he suddenly spoke up, unheard sobs clogging up his throat and making it hard to get the words out. 

"I'm sorry," He whispered, closing his eyes and tilting his head to the ground. "I'm sorry I couldn't help. I'm sorry I… I'm sorry I can't help. Not this time." 

Bobby wasn't really sure what he thought would happen, but he got no response. Nothing in the air changed, the wind didn't pick up or start to smell like Luke's laundry detergent or Reggie's cologne or Alex's shampoo. There was no response, nothing at all, and this time, Bobby couldn't hold back his sobs.

The weight on his shoulders felt heavy, felt like it was pressing him down to the ground, making it so that he would never be able to stand up. 

And this time, the boys weren't coming back to make the weight feel light again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked!! Also the title is from bright and I'm running out of songs from the soundtrack to get titles from JDJZJD


End file.
